How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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