if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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