Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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