Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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