im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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