um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
