ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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