Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
