you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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