forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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