Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
