If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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