The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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