Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
