You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
