I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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