I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
