There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
