I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
