Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
