I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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