mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
