I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
