I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
