She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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