You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
