p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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