You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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