dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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