put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
A+ Viking dick
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
