well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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