What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
