Me too!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
