Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
