We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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