drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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