Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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