I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
