You can't special order awesome
its not stalking. its research.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
