Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
