Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Small penises have feelings too.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
