It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
