none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
