we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
