i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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