before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
