just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
