god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
