Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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