Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
