you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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