I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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